NFL pre-game shows are still useless
Every year around this time, I stop to see if the streak is alive. Nobody should care, but it is:
In nearly 40 years of writing this column, not once have I heard from a single reader that he prefers one NFL studio pre-game show over another, let alone all the others. . He never came. The only thing recognized is that shows – on CBS, Fox, ESPN, NFL Network – are getting longer, fueling their commercial value and uselessness to viewers.
No network even tries to distinguish its pre-game show from the others. These are, in weekly form, festivals of forced laughter, intentionally dull and flat, as if Roger Goodell is holding the master circuit to cut the juice and burn the contract if anyone dares to explain why a player has come out with “problems out.” ground”. “The truth, in Goodell’s NFL, is an act of sedition.
“So Coach, who do you like in the Seahawks-Lions today, see here on Fox?” “Well, they have to establish the race first…” Apparently we’re supposed to care about the answer, but we don’t, never have, and never will. Yet the scripts never change.
There will be some irrelevant stats to feign preparation and enlightenment, and maybe CBS ‘“Weekend” Boomer Esiason, the fake, will reprise his role as a mute choirboy while Fox’s Jimmy Johnson still wears this look that he can’t believe he gets paid for.
Panelists, as they come and go, have increased in number per show, ensuring that intelligent conversation will be lost for single sentence entries and exits. And even more forced laughs.
Fox’s Jay Glazer seems a solid source on scratches and rumors from the latest players, but that’s it.
So how does a network attract and then maintain a loyal pre-game NFL following? How would any of them know if none of them even bothered to try?
At the start of this season, I saw a defensive back, lying on the pitch, almost motionless after a helmet-to-shoulder collision. His head was immobilized and soon a stretcher transported him to an ambulance which left. The key reporter noted that her arms were moving and said she would keep us posted. So what ?
Who goes to the hospital with the player? What goes through the player’s head as they look inside the ambulance roof? How are his personal effects, including street clothes, transported to the hospital? If he comes out in a considerably improved state, who accompanies him home, especially by plane from an away game?
Does the team employ staff to provide this help, comfort and services? We have seen the beginning of such dramas, but how do they unfold?
This is where I would include a six-minute play on a pre-game show.
What does the training week look like for a long snapper? This linesman also works in a penitentiary? Or in a reptile refuge? Show us and tell us their stories. Give us more, give us something, something better. Along with loud, loud laughs about gags that didn’t naturally emit a smile, it gives us the opportunity to say to ourselves, “That was pretty interesting. “
But we go on, keeping things boring, keeping the hands of the network safe and clean because they don’t do anything. Rinse, repeat.
MLB’s shameful past can’t just be erased
Now that Rob Manfred, with just one statement, has radically and racially revised American history – eliminate decades of MLB segregation by executive order – The Great Emancipator is working on a new outcome for the Crimean War.
So, networks hire former football officials to prejudge replay challenges and they often provide nothing better than “maybe” or “maybe”, meaning their second guess is no better. as the first official estimate in the field and the second official estimate. And they always say it’s called, “Getting it right.”
Peer Pressure: Guaranteed, Mark Schlereth, now at Fox, never spoke of a QB’s “arm talent” until he became a TV football analyst.
Washington QB problem magnet Dwayne Haskins lost his team captain title, with a capital C. One wonders who he will be beaten for the honor.
Volume Alert: New York audiences will be subject to “Hollerin ‘” Kevin Harlan on CBS’s Browns-Jets TV show.
Iowa State’s colors have been cardinal and golden since 1899. You can still reduce them by choosing Iowa State, Arizona State, or USC for instant television recognition. Now it’s just another school whose football team, on behalf of Nike and bought compliance, wears the all-black bad-attitude.
Monday evening, despite the uncivil war between the Steelers and the Bengals, was designated “NFL Muppets Night” for children addicted to black coffee. Having always confused the Muppets with Sesame Street, I wanted to know if Elmo is related to Venmo.
Holiday games confirm the cult of the leagues $$$
If I were king …
So on Christmas Eve there was still no NBA party scheduled, which made no sense to game workers, broadcast workers, and pre-COVID ticket buyers who would much prefer. work or attend games on Christmas Eve rather than abandon family and Christmas vacation. Day. But on Christmas Day, the NBA, entirely devoted to TV money, programs five broadcasts of national games.
On Thanksgiving Day, thousands of people who would rather be with family and loved ones have to work so the NFL can televise three games, one for CBS money, one for NBC money, one for Fox money.
And Martin Luther King Jr. Day, a day when all Americans solemnly reflect on his accomplishments and his assassination, is now scheduled every year to be loaded and dedicated to NBA games – in grim homage to Dr. King, of course.
Is there a more publicized myth than that of the NFL teams “racking up” the season to improve their draft pick?
1) The likelihood that the head coach – an Adam Gase – won’t be back is such that thinking he would be anxious to grease his own slip and lose in favor of the team on the verge of sacking him, is ridiculous. Why don’t you just hit you in the eye?
2) That players, many of whom are considered consumable after a rotten season, willfully fuel their departure and diminish their reputation by playing ostensibly bad football is absurd. Wait for me! I will also hit myself in the eye!
But “tanking,” the NFL myth, is here to stay.